“Rejection isn’t failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected. It’s how you handle it that determines where you end up.”
Castle S4E3: “Head Case”
Castle is a comedy about a writer who follows NYPD Muse Detective Beckett around while he writes mystery novels.
Spoilers follow.
In this episode, Castle’s daughter Alexis is rejected for early admission to Stanford. To say she has trouble coping is an understatement. Near the end of the episode she asks Castle how he does it, how he can stand to have his first rejection letter framed in his office. Castle replies, “it drives me… That letter reminds me of what I’ve overcome.”
There have been many real life authors who have blogged or written about doing something similar. One wrote about how his entire wall was covered in rejection letters. I think I’m going to make a rejection collage with that quote in the center. But what a wonderful way to look at the world! We all get knocked down, some of us sooner or more often than others, but even J. K. Rolling got her manuscript rejected multiple times before Harry Potter was published.
-Eliabeth
What rejections have you had to endure? What helped you?
I didn’t endure many rejections because I’m still 16 so… but I’ve been rejected by… guys lol anyway it sounds stupid I know but I’m not yet in the working field so the only thing that can reject me are the friends or other people of my surroundings… But I’ve realised that being rejected makes your mind more careful and readier for next time. I’ve overcome it by the support of my friends 🙂 and books I guess! I so love to read!
Although sometimes too much rejection can change to the constant fear of being accepted… and that’s too bad…
That doesn’t sound stupid at all. Sometimes social rejections hit the hardest because there’s emotion involved. Sure, there’s emotion involved in marketing your book to an agent, but it is not the same as getting dumped by someone you’ve been in a relationship with for any amount of time or being rejected to start a relationship. For the book, it’s a rejection of an object you have spent time on, for social rejections, it’s a rejection of self. That hurts. I have experienced many.
I love that you turned to books as well as friends and family. That is so neat to hear. I love escaping into another world, one of the reasons I write fantasy. I feel sorry for people who need to be accepted so much that they change who they are in order to fit in, but that’s a rant for after I see the movie “What’s Your Number.”
Thanks for sharing!
In the case of JKR that was one rejection too few! (Don’t worry too much – I am well-known for my on-going, one-sided feud with She-who-must-not-be-named, and it’s a long story).
These days I cope with rejection (specifically rejection slips for submitted work) by replying with the words “Your loss”.
😉
M
“Your loss” is a good way to handle it. Some agents on Twitter have said threatening “you’ll regret this when I’m famous” threats are not the way to get published, but I think that’s a step up from your response.
Thanks for sharing.
I usually send a smiley face with it to show I took the rejection in good humour. I have even had a positive reaction to that, including a personal and specific invitation to submit again on a forthcoming theme.
On the other hand after three rejections I outed ‘Poetry Review’ (magazine of the Poetry Society), outing myself as an idiot at the same time under the principle ‘Fool me once, shame on you… fool my twice, shame on me… fool me three times, shoot me!’ Let me give you an indication of what I outed them for. On three occasions I received a rejection letter. Each letter was identical. Each letter stated that the editor read every submission personally. Each letter was signed per pro by an editorial assistant. Each letter was received BY RETURN OF POST. I reserve the right to bitch like fury about editorial mendacity!
M
Oh that’s interesting about the smiley face. I have not replied to any of ours because I know agents are flooded with letters all the time. I don’t think I’ll send replies… not sure. At least not for the ones who do not request submitted material. Idk. I think it will depend. Good to think about though. *babbles*
Rejections just suck! I save all of mine though, hopefully when I’m published one day I will be able to read them and laugh!
I have all of ours in a file folder. So far Ermisenda hasn’t gotten any of the rejections because we aren’t querying the Australian agents for a few months due to the uneven number of US vs. Australian agents. Though I have not felt the need to print out the e-mailed rejections, I’m pretty sure I want to do a collage or artwork with ours.
Thank you for contributing 🙂
Earlier I used to be really frustrated whenever I would be rejected by an agent or a publishing house I had approached with my work. But nowadays I look at these “heart-breaking” letters in a new light. Whenever I get rejected I go through my work once more and everytime I seem to find something I do not want out there in the world. I just hope my recently cultivated optimism pays off and I manage to worm my way into the special niche of writers that appears so closed off to us outsiders.
I think you’ve got the right idea, particularly if you are finding things in your MS you don’t like. If you were getting rejected and combed through your MS but found nothing, it would either be time to get another opinion, or to self publish. Once you have something that you’ve reviewed, revised, edited, thrown against the wall, and looked at so many times you can’t see straight, then you’re ready to move on. I know that’s cliche, but I’ve been there. I’ve read our novel so much my brain tried to flee out my ear canal and I’m sure there’s STILL stuff in there that could be improved.
Good luck, keep up the positive attitude, but you might eventually consider self publication. If done RIGHT, and there is a right and wrong way to do it (I can link you to some helpful blogs if you would like) you can be successful. There’s someone on Twitter I’d recommend you follow too, an Indie author who has sold over 10,000 books if that’s a path you chose to take.
I had someone tell me about this as I just received my first rejection and I thought it was amazing. i printed my rejection letter and put it opposite my bed on the wall.
Awe thank you. I’m glad you liked it. I wish you the best of luck in your writing goals. Keep in touch, we’d love to hear from you more. We have a weekly event called Picture it & Write that has become popular with literary driven bloggers. https://ermiliablog.wordpress.com/category/picture-it-write/ There’s a new one every Sunday, but you’re always welcome to contribute to the archives if you feel inspired. Thanks for stopping by.
Pingback: Writing: 100 Rejection Letters | One Wing Butterfly
Thanks for sharing the inspiration! That’s a great Castle quote.
Have other good quotes/advice on rejection? Let me know and I will add them here!
http://onewingbutterfly.com/2011/11/11/writing-100-rejection-letters/
Don’t have any at the moment, but I’ll be sure to let you know if we come across any.