Tags
I urge people to join in, comment with your paragraph of fiction to accompany the image. It doesn’t have to follow my story or reflect the same themes. It can be a poem or in a different language (provide a translation please :)). Anyone who wants to join in, is welcome. This photograph has been reblogged under Ermisenda on tumblr.
The children screamed. The mother tapped the steering wheel as she waited for the bickering between children to cease. It didn’t. She turned around and yelled at them to stop and grow up. The whimpering six and eight year old continued to pull on the toy they both wanted to keep. The rain pelted against the window. The mother wanted the sun, she wanted summer to return. The children would be passed onto her ex-husband and she could enjoy the warming heat of the summer sun alone, in peace. The traffic was building up on the road and the children continued to shriek. With her nerves frayed she began smacking her hand against the horn.
– Ermisenda Alvarez
The emotions of the storm:
The raindrops that hammered at the windscreen of my car were more than disdain, they were hatred, a thousand thousand brass-nailed fingers wanting to get to my face to rake it to the skull-bone, to shred it. The wind assaulted the trees along the road; the trees and the boiling air struck up a ceaseless moan of mutual torment. A wrath of harsh, yellow sunlight made the wet road its anvil, and I squinted in pain before the clouds closed again, leaving me blind. The tail-lights of the car in front swam, dissolved, re-formed as crazy jewels – we jerked forward, stopped, jerked forward again. The engine of my car protested at all this low-gear progress over the cracked roads of the suburbs, it’s peevish whine joining the storm’s cacophony and the shrieks of my children in a crazy counterpoint. It seemed petty of me to rail against it all by sounding my horn.
There was a taste of blood in my mouth. I realised I was repeating the mantra-like words, “I hope the levees hold… I hope the levees hold…”
Fantastic descriptions! I really loved the idea of raindrops wanting to rake their face to the skull-bone. Thanks for commenting!
A blurry vision tells her.
That her life is unsure.
Grasping on to the steering wheel
To manouvre herself to her destiny.
Een warrig uitzicht vertelt haar
Dat haar leven onzeker is
Vastklemmend aan het stuur
Manouvreert ze haarself naar haar toekomst
Short and sweet, thanks for dropping by and sharing with us your creative creation. 🙂
Okay guys, here’s my link: http://terri0729.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/dont-let-me-lo…rol-she-prayed/
The link doesn’t work but I found it by clicking your name. Another great submission! I really liked the complication you added to the story. Lovely work. 🙂
Sorry about the link, try this: http://terri0729.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/dont-let-me-lose-control-she-prayed/ Hopefully that will work for others.
Thanks for the compliment! I thought I would add a twist to it. Glad you liked it. Blessings, Terri
Rain ran down the windows of the car, almost like an exaggerated version of the tears which ran down my cheeks. The light was diffused through the rain and tears, blinding me further. ‘Good’, I think in a moment of childishness. For why would I want to look upon a world so ugly? My life had been taken from me, and all I could think was how I wanted to take my own. That’s not what she would have wanted. That’s not what she wants. I need to carry on forward.
I take a breath, bury the emotions deep down. I reach for the ignition and switch on the engine of the car. It roars to life, mimicking how my heart used to sound. Blinded by the lights and deafened by the roar I set off into the rain, such a pathetic fallacy.
I go on for her. It’s what she’d want.
Very nicely done! I enjoyed it. Blessings, Terri
Thank you! I’m becoming a fan of short snappy fiction. I’m currently doing something on my blog called 50 Word Stories, I’ve only done three but I like them, and it can be a challenge to get them dot on 50 words.
Beautiful. 🙂 Thanks for contributing with this emotional piece DanPos.
Pingback: Picture It & Write – My Submission | Words Form Windows
I’ve heard of that 50 thing but don’t know if I could do that or not, lol. I’m quite sure that it is a challenge. Peace and blessings, Terri
P.S. Thanks for the subscription!
Here is my version. Thank you again for the brilliant idea.
http://airickaphoenix.com/Author/?p=156
Thank you for being part of the Picture it & write community! ‘Rain glistened off the windshield like diamonds, twinkling in the sinking twilight.’ I loved that sentence. Hope to see you next week!
Thank you kindly! I had a lot of fun with this and will return next week for sure!
Best wishes.
~A
Pingback: Airicka Phoenix – __Picture It & Write
Pingback: Airicka Phoenix – __Picture It & Write
Each drop of rain carried brown specs down the window shield, leaving trails of dirt behind them. The red light from the traffic signal streaked diagonally across my view. I sighed, slumping farther into my seat. It seemed like every time I went to visit my mother in the retirement home, it was storming. Lightning suddenly ignited in the sky, followed closely by a roaring clap of thunder.
“Great,” I murmured, pressing my toe softly against the gas pedal.
The father I drove, the heavier the rain fell. Soon, the water completely obliterated my view. I cursed my broken window wipers as I pulled onto the side of the road. Even after working a thirteen hour shift as a waitress, I couldn’t afford to fix my damn car. I shut my car off and leaned my head on the rest. Besides the steady patter of rain, silence enveloped my car. My eyes fluttered closed; it felt so nice to finally rest.
Of course, another crash of thunder had to disturb my moment of peace. “What do you want me to do?” I mumbled to some unknown listener. “It’s not like I can drive through this mess.”
A horn howled as a car sped passed me. I clutched the steering wheel, suppressing the anger building in my chest. Nothing ever went right. And there I was, stuck in my car in the pouring rain. All I could do was wait.
And suddenly, the rain calmed down. I jumped out my car and wiped the now clean windshield. For once, maybe someone was on my side. I smiled softly as I turned the key in the ignition.
The car only sputtered and groaned as a reply. Fantastic.
A brilliant addition! I really liked how you wrote the voice of the persona and how in a few paragraphs you were able to capture so much. Thanks for stopping by and writing this lovely piece!
“I told you it wasn’t a good day to go out,” my mum said to my dad as he got increasingly angry at the slow moving cars in front, my sister and I sat silent, we both knew not to get in the middle of there rows “We would never have come out if you haven’t made me feel guilty about going away with work,”
“You’re never at home, you should feel guilty,” As I turned my head to look at my sister, tears started to fill her eyes and we were both trapped in the car with them till we got home, which would easily be another thirty minutes, the rain got louder and so did their shouting but I had learnt to switch off and not listen.
It’s great to see your use of dialogue. A lovely emotional piece. Thanks for contributing and I hope to see you next week!
Screams,
Pressure rushes out from
Between fingertips, relentless.
My skin,
Tugging in slow motion
On the wheel, torn and scarred.
I see
The ocean pouring through.
From here, to me and you.
Rushing,
Why do I rush so furiously?
I have as much time as I need.
Enough,
Not enough, but just right
Then a crash, fin.
A beautiful poem, hopefully we will encounter more in the coming weeks :). Thanks for sharing and contributing to Picture it & write!
Would you mind if I reposted the picture and shared a link to your blog so I could post this poem on The Sunday Mail? It turned out really good and I really like it.
Not at all! Please do. Thank you again for participating, we hope you will come back every week. I absolutely loved it.
-Elia
That’s a good idea, I’ll get writing right this minute!! 😀
(Elia replying)
Awesome. Looking forward to it. If you have any skills graphically, we have something coming up in about a week we hope you will return for.
I wrote a simple haiku:
“Through darkness and rain,
A pair of accusing lights
Too bright to turn from.”
(Elia replying)
I love haikus. They are my one shot at ever writing poetry.
Loved your submission. Please come back next week. We post Picture it & Write every Sunday. There’s also some old ones in the archives if you check the side bar for that category. 🙂
Actually, let me change that to:
“deep in the dark rain,
a pair of accusing lights
too bright to turn from”