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…okay so that’s a slight exaggeration but here’s the thing: I’ve never been able to smell so it did not occur to me to smell the clearance rack conditioner before I bought it.  My bad.

I’ve had a deviated septum since kindergarten because when the soccer ball smashed my head into the wall, everyone was worried about a concussion; no one was worried about my nose.  I’ve also had chronic allergies to almost all plant life, so we always blamed it on that.  Turns out the deviated septum and allergy swelling clogged 90% of my airways and if that wasn’t enough, I lack certain receptors required to smell because I was not exposed to enough when my nasal passageways developed.

I had surgery in June but because of complications it was only a few weeks ago that I’ve been starting to smell things for the first time in my life.  Walking down the detergent isle in the grocery store!  How do you people stand it?  It was like getting punched in the face.  I’ve also had to train myself to keep my mouth closed. Sounds silly I know, but I feel weird pressing my lips together when for almost twenty years doing so for more than a few seconds made me feel like I was suffocating.

Apparently, I’ve been using scentless conditioner.  I get the kind for moisturizing and silky hair and all that nice stuff.  Well, I bought clearance rack conditioner ’cause it was a dollar, how could I go wrong?   It never occurred to me to smell it at the store.  I put it on my hair and oh… my… gosh…

There goes a dollar down the drain.