How to be a Complete Jack Ass
by Jeff Packer
What do 1000 Ways to Die, the Darwin Awards, 101 fun things to do at Walmart, and Jeff Packer’s book have in common? Each involves actions by others that are hilarious when happening at a distance, but I don’t want them done anywhere near me. They make me laugh and cringe, sometimes at the same time. Like the list of 101 Walmart pranks, it is a very quick read, perfect for when you want a laugh, but don’t have time to be drawn into a story. Some are funny, some are gross, and some are inappropriate for young audiences if the title was not enough to clue you in.
While his goal is just to make readers laugh, beware. Some of his inspiration came from working in a restaurant and many of us have heard enough horror stories about those to never want to eat out again.
How to be a Complete Jack Ass is a list of actions ranging from rude to dangerous. Others… well I’m really not sure. Here are some examples:
#181. Put used chewing gum in other people’s keyboards.
#145. Buy a $5000 computer just to play solitaire.
#233. Light a cigarette at a gas station.
My only concern is that people are actually going to try these things, so let me reiterate, it’s funny… when it’s not in my vicinity. Not all of them are dangerous, but most of them are horribly inappropriate and if caught, will get you fired. I don’t remember which number it was, but one of them was shaving your nether regions in the office sink.
This was Jeff’s first book, so what does he have coming up next? He was juggling three projects last I spoke with him, a sequal, another “humor book,” and a possible nonfiction piece.
His book was recently released in paperback in addition to the original e-book format and can be found on Amazon.com.
-Eliabeth Hawthorne
One of our readers wrote a review on this book too. Sibel Catana’s Writings was how I learned about it in the first place. Check our her blog.
Can I get a badge for doing stuff like that? Or a t-shirt, or a certificate or something. Sounds cool.
Well, I can introduce you to the author and you can ask him. I would say no, so it’s a good thing you don’t live near me… or at least I hope you don’t.
…you didn’t used to work at Starbucks did you? ’cause people there had your sense of humor
You want sprinkles on that?
Well, unfortunately I don’t have prizes to give away, but I wish I did! But if there were prizes or a point system, it would only be for the stuff that doesn’t actually cause harm to anybody. Like building a catapult and launching garbage across the neighborhood. That’s just fun.
No, actually I don’t want anybody to actually try any of these things. For legal reasons. Because some of them will result in you getting fired or killed. So I can’t encourage it. But if you send over a youtube of yourself going bowling in a supermarket aisle with a cantaloupe and 10 two liter bottles of soda, I’ll “like” the video and laugh….
Now now, people can get hurt playing Medieval Garbage Men, but the cantaloupe bowling… now that just sounds fun.
Ewww…nether regions. That one was really gross. But the book sounds hilarious.
That’s one of the ones that made me cringe. There’s plenty more where that one came from. It concerns me a little how Jeff came up with some of them. It concerns me more that people might actually do that.
Yeah, some are pretty nasty. It starts off that way. But if it helps, #1 actually happened at the restaurant I worked at. I don’t want to get too gross here but you can get the free sample at Amazon. It’s at least worth that amount of time, I think.
. There is some nastiness and vulgarity, but I think the majority of the book isn’t TOO bad.
Very well written!
LOL
Glad you approve. Oh! I should link your review in too since you’re the one who told me about it.
Thanks.
My name is Sibel, btw. Your review is more of a proper review than mine.
!!! I knew that. I actually went back to figure out who you were correcting before I realized it was me! Sorry, must have had a brain fart. It’s changed now.
No worries, they say that when someone messes up your name, you get rich. So … *waiting, tapping finger on the desk impatiently, rolls eyes to see the money falling from the sky/ceiling*. Eh, nothing yet. I suppose it’s not true then. Bummer!
If that’s true, I should be rolling in it. People think the missing Z is a typo and while it was originally, it’s intentional now.
Maybe it’s just a delayed reaction. lol.
Oh, wouldn’t that be wonderful! I have to admit I quite like money. lol. Let’s wait and see then.
Hmm, I’ve never heard of the Walmart prank book. I’ll have to check it out.
it’s not a book (I don’t think) it’s just an e-mail list that circled around. I googled “101 things to do in Walmart” to find it since it’s pretty popular rather than trying to remember who forwarded it to me.